HAZBIN HOTEL - Hell's Greatest Dad

Haha, looks like you could use some help
From the big boss of Hell himself
Check out daddy's glowing reviews on Yelp
(Five stars! Flawless! Greater than great!)

Oh, with the punch of a pentagram
I wap-bam-boom, alakazam
Usually, I charge a sacrificial lamb
But you get the family rate

Who needs a busboy, now that you've got the chef
Michelin-tasting menu, free à la carte
I'll rig the game for you because I'm the ref
Champagne fountains, caviar mountains, that's just to start!

Who's been here since day one?
Who's been faithful as a nun?
Makes you chuckle with an old-timey pun
Your executive producer

I'm your guy, your day-to-day
Your chum, your steadfast hotelier
Remember when I fixed that clog today
(I was stuck, thank you sir!)